3 Tips for Building Lasting Self-Worth

May 11, 2020

Yesterday, I had the best time talking to a cohort of entrepreneurs about my experience in sport and entrepreneurship. One of the participants asked a question that struck me:

“Kate, one day, we’re going to walk into a room of investors to pitch our business. How can we feel like we deserve to be there when they have made tens of millions of dollars and have achieved success?”

In that question and the subsequent conversation, I heard an underlying limiting belief many of us face – our worth is based on what we earn, our successes, and how we perform. We only deserve to be heard if we, too, have made tens of millions of dollars.


Why beliefs matter

Beliefs drive our thoughts, which drive our emotions, which drive our actions, which drive our outcomes, which reinforce our beliefs. 

Start with faulty, limiting beliefs and you will likely end up with disappointing outcomes. 

We frequently think we need to do something in order to feel more confident or worthy. Yes, actions: building competencies, visualizing, and repeating affirmations to ourselves can help build our confidence. However, in order to build true, lasting confidence and feel worthy, we must change our beliefs. 

Beliefs are a choice

That future-entrepreneur chose to believe he deserves a spot at the table only if he makes millions of dollars. Likely the choice was made sub-consciously based on a past experience and cultural messaging. However, just as he chose that belief, he can choose to believe he deserves a spot for a different reason. His self-talk might sound something like this:

“Yes, I need to work for a spot at the table; I don’t get a free pass, and I shouldn’t waste people’s time. However, I’ve done the work – doesn’t the fact that I created a product that warranted a pitch meeting mean I did something right?”

This is not an easy change; however, it is simple. 

Three simple steps to change beliefs

1. Identify the limiting belief

One way to accomplish this is by identifying where you are missing your desired outcomes. Remember outcomes are a result of your beliefs. If you are missing the mark, it’s likely because your beliefs are limiting your efforts. 

2. Challenge the limiting belief

Ask yourself: How is this belief false? How would someone with the opposite belief view this situation? What would their belief sound like? What am I treating as a fact that is actually an opinion? 

3. Write a new belief

Remember, beliefs are a choice. While it is difficult and takes energy and intention, you can replace your old, limiting beliefs with ones that are empowering and drive you towards your goals. 

Ask yourself: What belief best serves me under this circumstance? What is true? 

Write that belief and post it EVERYWHERE as a reminder. It’s not enough to say it once. You’ve likely been repeating your limiting belief hundreds, if not thousands, of times. You must do the same with this new belief. Practice does not make perfect. Practice makes permanent. 

Rewriting the belief:

money worth

I gave the following advice to the young man:

Stop asking why you don’t deserve to be there…how you’re lesser than someone else…how you don’t measure up.

Start asking why you do.  What value are you offering? How can you serve that person? What skills, traits, and competencies do you possess that can add value to the lives of those around you?

It’s easy to look at someone else’s success as a subtraction from ours. Yet, we all have something the world desperately needs. What value can you bring today?

What belief do you need to rewrite today in order to create the outcomes you desire? Comment below!

Interested in coaching to transform your limiting beliefs and build lasting self-worth and confidence? Learn more about Holistic High-Performance Coaching and schedule a discovery call to see if coaching is for you.

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